Guilty Confession of the Week

Guilty Confession of the Week:

My boyfriend and I ordered a Domino's pizza. It was a rainy day, pouring. Without a car and in Boston where public transportation is a pain in the fattest ass in America, there was no way we were going out to get groceries or fast food. We had very little food in the house. Stuff to make spaghetti with some frozen spinach or something, maybe, but that was about it. So, my boyfriend eagerly suggested pizza. 

Yes, I can --and should-- just say, "Go ahead, I'll just make myself something simple." Or, "No, I'll order a sandwich or a salad." But I didn't. I don't. Ever. I had a dream once where I woke up saying "I don't want any pizza!" and my boyfriend's comment was, "I've never known you to refuse pizza before. It must've been a dream."

(On a contextual, justifying note -- I never ate pizza as much as I do now before I met my boyfriend.)

But it's not the eating of the pizza that is my guilty confession. He ate his 4 slices, and I shoved down 3. I was full at two, but it just looked so good and was still so hot, I ate a third. I couldn't, literally, stomach a fourth. So, my boyfriend left the box on the stovetop for us to throw away in the morning.

In the morning, I thought about the pizza. I really did. I thought, well, when he's in the shower, I'll eat that piece. I didn't even want the damn pizza! I wanted to eat something healthy, even my body felt that way, but my brain was like -- "Now's your chance to get that fourth slice!"

So, when my boyfriend went into the shower, I made to throw it away and then took a big bite of it. ...then I felt disgusting. I felt utterly and ridiculously disgusting. And I thought, Why do you feel you have to do this? This isn't normal.

I spit it out.

There are some things that are getting out of hand. That is why the 1 pound a week is an important accomplishment, and though small, not insignificant. I need to meet this goal before I can move on to the next.

Any words of advice?

Workout - Sunday 9/21

My new goal is to start picking up some mileage on the treadmill. When I started a few days ago, it hurt (cramping and heartburn) to finish a mile at 15 minutes. I know, pathetic.

Today, 1 mile in 11 minutes. Yay!

Anyway, this was today's workout:

ELLIPTICAL TRAINER:

5 minutes - warm-up. I walked to the gym from my apartment.

6 minutes - at resistance level 6. (if you also have incline, raise the incline to match)

2 minutes - increase the resistance by 2 every 30 seconds.

2 minutes - decrease the resistance by 2 every 30 seconds.

6 minutes - pedal backward at resistance level 6.

TREADMILL:

11 minutes - run a mile. I changed my speed a few times, but on average I stayed on 5.5 or 6.

5 minutes - cool down.

Stretch!

Workout - Day 3

ELLIPTICAL TRAINER

*I got on the treadmill, and when it didn't work, took it as a sign. Then realized that was just an excuse to avoid the Inevitable Cramp-Giving Treadmill. But when I got the platform rolling, and it began to squeak like a rusty wheel, I really did take it as a sign. Back to the Elliptical I went. Distress finds comfort in familiarity.

5 minutes - Warm Up

6 minutes - Increase speed, increase resistance to 6 (or whatever feels like medium to you)

2 minutes - Increase speed, increase resistance by 2 every 30 seconds.

2 minutes - Maintain speed, decrease resistance by 2 every 30 seconds.

6 minutes - Increase speed, pedal backwards.

5 minutes - Decrease speed, increase resistance to 6 (or whatever feels like medium to you)

2 minutes - Increase speed, increase resistance by 2 every 30 seconds.

2 minutes - Maintain speed, decrease resistance by 2 every 30 seconds.

5 minutes - Increase speed. Sprint.

5 minutes - Cool down.

*This burned 375 calories for me, and I had a pretty good sweat. If you're not sweating, obviously increase the resistance and/or speed, or even the time limit for each segment of the exercise. If it's too hard, go slower with less resistance for now; you'll get there.

Workout - Day 2

ELLIPTICAL TRAINER

5 minutes - warm up

5 minutes - fast walk

5 minutes - increase speed, increase resistance to 5

5 minutes - increase speed, increase resistance to 10

5 minutes - decrease resistance to 5, maintain speed

5 minutes - decrease resistance to 0, increase speed

5 minutes - cool down

This sort of tests your endurance because it forces you to maintain your speed and a high resistance, which gets really tiring after the first minute or two. Just crank up that fast music, and go for it though!

Workout - Day 1

ELLIPTICAL WORKOUT - 30 MINUTES

5 Minutes - Warm up at a brisk walk

2 Minutes - Increase resistance to 3 and speed to a fast walk.

2 Minutes - Increase resistance by 2 every 15 seconds.

2 Minutes - Decrease resistance by 2 every 15 seconds.

3 Minutes - Sprint.

2 Minutes - Decrease speed to a fast walk.

2 Minutes - Increase resistance by 2 every 15 seconds.

2 Minutes - Decrease resistance by 2 every 15 seconds.

3 Minute - Increase resistance to 10 and sprint.

2 Minutes - Decrease resistance to 0 and speed to a fast walk.

5 Minutes - Cool down.

Lunch - Day 1

1/2 cup chicken salad

green tea

Sugar free banana/chocolate jell-o pudding - 60 calories

Mid-Afternoon Snack - Day 1

1/2 cup reduced fat cottage cheese - 90 calories

glass of green tea

TOTAL: 90 calories

Breakfast - Day 1

1 egg - 70 calories

1 tablespoon reduced-fat cheddar cheese, shredded - 10 calories

1 tablespoon salsa - 0 calories

1 cup 1% milk - 100 calories

TOTAL: 180 calories

*Different from last time -- I've decreased the amount of cheese. One slice of cheese is too much, and unnecessary for one egg. It's overkill. One tablespoon of shredded cheese was PLENTY. I'd use nonfat milk, but my boyfriend did the grocery shopping this time and he hates it. I'd use Egg Beaters, but didn't have them in the fridge.

What the hell does Vivianno even mean?

I'm assuming it's some sort of flourishing version of "life". Which, compared to the other heavy coffees and sugar, caloric, syruppy goodness at Starbucks, it's sorta spot on.

But let's examine what Starbucks considers a life-giving force:

Calories: 270

Pretty bad when you consider a Grande Mocha Light Frappuccino has half that! What kind of freaking life force is this? I don't trust a life force that wants to make me fat under the guise of being a health nut.

Saturated Fat: 2.5g out of 5g Total Fat

Ok. That's half! Half is bad! ESPECIALLY bad when you consider that a Grande Mocha Light Frappuccino has 0g of Saturated Fat and only 1g of Total Fat! What a sham!

Ok, but surely it has more protein, less cholesterol and sugars, and more fiber and vitamins, yes?

Carbohydrates: 44g

Let's just halve that, shall we, for the Mocha Light. All that sugary yummoness in a Mocha Light Frapp and still less carbs? Get outta town!

Protein: 21g

Ah, there's the rub. With that protein powder add, the Vivianno has an edge over Mocha Light's meager 6g of Protein. But it's in the running with its 6g Fiber content, the Mocha Light having just 2g less.

And while the Vitamin A & C, the Calcium and the Iron contents are all more in the Vivianno, let's be honest -- we're not REALLY having the Vivianno because we need vitamins. We're having it because it's got chocolate and bananas in it and it says Vivianno with nice pastel colors and claims to be healthy while also delicious. We're probably more likely to get our Vitamins elsewhere throughout the day.

So why get a Vivianno? Who the hell knows. If you're going for chocolate anyway, go for a Mocha Light Frapp. The girl next in line may be a bit smug after you order your frapp and she orders a Vivianno, thinking herself healthfully superior. But try and keep from shouting at her -- you are right, and she is wrong. Now go enjoy your lower-cal, lower-fat, lower-cab drink with lower-guilt.

The Ultimate Burger Recipe

(Serves 4)

INGREDIENTS:

2 lbs. lean beef

1 head iceberg lettuce (or whichever you prefer)

1 large tomato

light mayonnaise

1 tablespoon minced garlic (optional)

dill pickles

4 slices reduced-fat cheese (I like American)

Whole wheat buns

1 tablespoon olive oil

salt and pepper

PREPARATION:

Put the beef in a large bowl. Sprinkle salt and pepper to taste (usually about a teaspoon each) and the minced garlic. Use your hands --get gritty-- and mix this altogether. (Don't overhandle the beef; the less you handle, the more moist and tender the meat will be.)

Flatten the beef in the bowl and use your hand to make a cross in the meat, dividing it into 4 equal sections.

Take each section and roll into a ball, then flatten into a patty. A good technique is to press out from the middle gently with your thumbs.

If not using a grill --which I don't because i'm poor and don't have any outdoors-- poor the olive oil in a flat pan over medium-high heat and cook each patty. Depending on your taste, 1-2 minutes per side.

When you're on the second side, layer 1 slice of cheese atop each patty to melt.

Serve with all the fixins you want! The more veggies the better.

Make Brownies Low-Fat

Don't abandon brownies just because you're on a diet.

The best part about the diet I advocate is that it's about eating healthy, but not denying yourself. If you really want chocolate --like when I'm on my period, my chocolate radar turns on instantly-- then have some, just be diplomatic about portions and the amount of times you're shoving it in your mouth.

Here are some sure-fire ways to make delectable brownies less fatty:

1. Use wheat flour - wheat is great for you; not only do people who eat wheat tend to be thinner, but they are also heart-healthy. It's good at breaking up free radicals in the blood, keeping cholesterol and blood pressure at a healthy level.

2. Replace butter/oil with applesauce - one for one should do, but you may need to test the quantity exchange per recipe. Applesauce is a good substitute because it does the job of the fats (i.e. keeps everything from sticking together and keeps things moist) but without the, well, FAT! Best part is, your chocolate brownie won't even taste appley!

3. Replace butter with margarine - if you're not comfortable with using applesauce, at least use margarine. It's lower in fat and calories.

4. Use cocoa powder - use chocolate chips, that's fine. It creates a wonderful rich flavor to your brownies. But try and replace some of those highly-caloric chips with some cocoa powder, which is low in cals.

5. Replace eggs with egg beaters - egg beaters are a wonderful invention, better than sliced bread, I say. 1/4 cup egg beaters is equal to 2 eggs. But while 2 eggs have 140 calories, 1/4 cup egg beaters is only 60 calories! Genius.

6. Replace sugar with Splenda - some may be a bit hesitant to use fake sugar. I'm with you, I get it. I heard that Splenda was invented when two scientists were trying to create bug repellant and accidentally added the solution to his coffee. Sounds like a myth to me, but I'm still wary when I see the texture of Splenda sugar. STILL - Splenda is low carb and low cal. Use the sugar and the brown sugar versions when baking. (If you're too scared, stick with regular sugar; just be sure not to eat much sugar the rest of the day as too much of a good thing isn't good -- though that sounds like a myth too.)

Try my favorite recipe keeping the following tips in mind (this is the one I make for boyfriend, so it's a proven wonder):

INGREDIENTS:

12 tablespoons of butter
1/2 cup reduced-fat peanut butter (try Smart Balance. It’s all natural, so it’s not great to eat on a sandwich or out of the jar, but it’s good in baking because it gets the flavor right and because there’s so much sugar in the other ingredients, you don’t notice it’s all natural)
4 oz. chocolate chips
2 cups packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
4 large eggs
1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350F with rack in the middle.

Spray olive oil cooking spray (or butter) on a 13×9" baking dish. Sprinkle flour over the baking dish (this makes it extra nonsticky and gives it a cakey feel).

Melt margarine, peanut butter and chocolate in a heavy 3qt saucepan over low heat, stirring until smooth.

Remove from heat and cool.

Whisk in brown sugar and vanilla.

Whisk in eggs one at a time.

Whisk together flour and salt then whisk this into the chocolate mixture.

Spread all of this into the pan. Bake 30 minutes or until pick inserted comes out with crumbs. Cool completely before eating.

Breakfast on the SBD

Eggs, eggs, and more eggs.

If you don't like eggs, you're not going to have a problem on the SBD, it's just going to make breakfast less interesting for you than for the rest of us.

Consider this:

- Eggs are a great source of protein at a low cost. Only 75 calories per 1 large egg. (Yes, if you start whipping up a 3-egg omelette with cheese, bacon, etc. you will be losing the "benefits" of eggs. So for the SBD, keep it simple.)

- Eggs provide a good deal of choline, which though our body does produce it, it does not produce enough. Choline is a key component in the fat-containing structure of the cell membranes in the brain.

(For more detailed info on eggs, see http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=92)

So, while my boyfriend wanted oatmeal this morning, I made myself this meal:

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup egg beaters (60 calories; equal to 2 eggs)
1 slice cheese (70 calories)
1 tablespoon salsa (eyeball it)

I scrambled the egg beaters, melted the cheese on top, and served it with the salsa. This is really great because you get a good dose of protein, calcium, and a serving of vegetables with the salsa.

*If you prefer fried eggs, use only 1 egg to avoid a lot of calories.

Now, what do you do if you hate eggs, or are a weird eater of some kind (sorry vegans, I do think you're weird, and you raw people too; not that I disparage you, I just like food too much to deny some of the best kinds)?

Well, here are some good breakfast things to consider:

- cottage cheese
- tofu
- black beans
- tomatoes
- vegetables with hummus
- vegetables with cheese spread
- deli meat

...AND...I'm sorta out of ideas. Most of the SBD recipes, official or unofficial, are frittatas or quiches of some kind (I don't make any of those 'cuz I'm happy as a clam with a hardboiled egg or a fried one), but that gives you an idea of how passionate they are about eggs. If you don't like eggs, you're going to have to get a bit creative. Not that there's a lack, you may just have to start creating unconventional breakfies.

But hey, we're starting a new healthy way of eating, right? So maybe unconventional's a good thing. Break you out of your rut of Egg McMuffins and hashbrowns and diet cokes, or 3-egg omelettes with homefries, or worse, bagels and muffins (gasp!).

Good luck!

Week Two - Life Gets in the Way

I look at the thin and well-kept and I want to run to them and shake them by the shoulders and say, "How do you do it?"

Not because I don't think I'm beautiful or could be thinner, but because I've never looked as picturesque as some girls can look on a daily basis just because life gets in the way.

Maybe my hair's frizzy and I'm rushing out the door or am in a hurry to get to my writing, so I just put it up in a ponytail and leave it at that.

Sometimes I get off work late and can't make it to the gym because then there would be no time to make dinner, let alone eat it, or write or study or do the other many many things that make up my after-work day.

Or, like in this past week, my dad has a stroke and I have to go to California to be with him. There are no Boston Sports Clubs in California, so I had no gym. I thought I'd get to ride my mom's bike on the extensive bike trails, but because my dad got out of the hospital and needed an escort everywhere (they took his driver's license away temporarily), I was with him 24-7 and had no time for exercise.

I asked if we could walk to breakfast one morning, which would require going up and down a pretty-good-sized hill. Probably all told -- 1/2 or 3/4 mile. My dad, a lover of exercise, thought that was silly and insisted on driving.

Moreover, living in Boston and visiting my family for maybe the 3rd time in a year, it was vacation. Vacation means restaurants every day. Restaurants mean big portions, uncontrolled calories. And in my family, it means Cheesecake Factory and PF Chang's. Even though I ordered "healthier" items on the menu (like salads, potstickers, lettuce wraps), I felt like I was eating out of control -- and was.

So...you people who manage to look pristine daily, I have a question for you, "How do you do it without letting life get in the way?"

Week One - Success

Success! As promised, this week I lost 1 pound. That's not a lot, granted. And at this rate, it'll take me almost 7 months to lose the 20 pounds I want to lose. But still. It's a start.

The reason why 1 pound a week is a good goal right now is because I'm under a lot of stress and eating has always been my fallback when I'm stressed, plus I'm trying to get myself to get in the habit of simply going to the gym 6 days a week. That means I can't be there an hour or even 45 minutes at a time because I'll start resenting the experience, or make excuses not to go. But an easy 30 minute workout every day for 6 days is not something to shy away from. It's easy, it's quick, so all it takes is commitment.

First Day Back

I found out this morning that my dad had a stroke. Mild, but that's just a word they use so you won't freak out. Luckily, at breakfast, I had a good friend keeping me sane and making me laugh. I ate sensibly, an english muffin, an egg, 1 slice of cheese, a piece of canadian bacon.

As the day wore on, I forgot to eat. But when I did, I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (reduced fat peanut butter) on wheat, some low-fat cottage cheese with salsa, and a yogurt.

My boss later brought in my favorite cookies on the planet -- oatmeal, chocolate chip from the bakery down the block in Newtonville, MA (if you're ever on Walnut St., check it out). But I haven't eaten one yet. ...Though boy it's tempting to ease my tension with that.

My boyfriend is making me dinner tonight -- a gift, and a way to take my mind off things. He gets adamant about doing things for me when I get upset. He's going to make my favorite food in the whole wide world for me tonight -- mac & cheese with hot dogs.

Yes, not exactly diet food. And yes, it's a problem that I use food in this way. That I turn to it when things go wrong.

Well, that's why I'm 20 pounds overweight, isn't it? Hmph.

Day 1 - good or bad? I can't tell. Good so far, but the mac & cheese is looking to make up for the calories I've saved during the day. And of course, as spaced-out, muzzy-headed, upset as I am over my dad -- no gym is happening today either.

The right response? Gym to build endorphins and get out all my anxiety and tears. A nice healthy dinner of chicken, greens and brown rice so I don't, on top of feeling bad about my dad, feel bad about myself.

Sigh. This unhealthy eating really does feel like a cycle that'll never end.

New Week's Resolution

Today I weigh in at 150 pounds. Not the most pleasantest of figures for a 5'3/4" woman.

So, I've made a New Week's Resolution to lose at least 1 pound per week.

Portions will be less, more snacking, less heavy meals, working out at least 30 minutes at least 6 days a week. Less sugar, less fat, less calories.

It's all difficult because I'm not used to it, but it's not difficult.

I know it seems like every day it's something new, and I can never keep my promises (even to myself -- although it's easier to break promises to myself than to others, which is maybe something else that should be addressed at some point).

Okay...deep breath...here we go. Wish me luck (again)!

Healthy Dinner - Day 2: Chicken Tikka

You can't shake Indian food from your hands. It sticks there, like you've an impenitrable glove of garlic and curry, invisible but pungent. But I cook it anyway, because it's my boyfriend's favorite. That's love.

Good thing is, it's also healthy. Observe...

CHICKEN TIKKA

1 cup low-fat plain yogurt

1 heaping tablespoon of mild curry paste (*wear gloves!)

2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts cut into edible pieces

1 lemon's juice

3 tablespoons finely chopped cilantro

-- Mix yogurt, curry paste, juice, and cilantro together and coat the chicken in the sauce. Place chicken on a hot grill, skillet, griddle pan, whatever's handy. (obviously a grill will give it a charred flavor that's nice.) Cook about 5-6 minutes per side, until done.

Serve with brown rice and spinach, or curry peas (recipe later).

Chicken Mozambique - A Portuguese Sin

As with most sins, they're just too pleasurable to resist. Chicken Mozambique is no different.

If you've ever been to a Portuguese restaurant --or anywhere in Fall River, Mass-- you'll have come across Chicken Mozambique on a menu, and waitresses who gruffly suggest it as the best thing on the menu.

Trust them.

But, if you're on a diet of any kind, stay as far away from Chicken Mozambique as you can. In fact, maybe you should just order a Diet Coke and then leave the restaurant. Try McDonald's for a healthy alternative to lunch.

My boyfriend is half Portuguese and so when I had a few friends over the other night, i wanted to try and make them Portuguese food and show off my good Portuguese housewifery skills. The dish came out really good, and my friends said they'd never tasted any flavors like that before, and my boyfriend was prowling the skillet for more bits of chicken I might have forgotten to serve.

Here's just one reason to stay away from Chicken Mozambique -- I cooked the chicken in 3 sticks of butter. That's 24 tablespoons of fat!!! That's 2430 calories!

This is just for the chicken. Chicken Mozambique is also traditionally served with Spanish rice (cooked in a combo of butter and water) and french fries. All these carbs are there to soak up the butter sauce.

And, yes, it is quite delicious and I definitely recommend making it or getting it when you see it on the menu -- just make sure you work out afterwards and maybe fast for a day postconsume, and that anyone with a bad heart picks something else.

But if you want to brave it, here's a great recipe: (serves 4) http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/takehomechef/user_recipes/chickenmozambique.html

South Beach - Day 1 (again)

A new beginning starts today...again.

I'm getting back on track again. After a weekend of being depressed and eating terrible foods, and after a whole week of not working out, I'm going to get back control of my health.

This weekend, walking with a friend into downtown Boston, getting lost amid crowds of drunk 20-somethings, dressed with cleavage and thighs exposed, while men in Gap button-ups gawked or yelled liquor-stained profanities, I was hit with a juvenile delinquency I haven't been confronted with since I was in high school. Granted, the boy might have been in high school, but the behavior was not only inexcusable, but surprising.

Driving by, running a red light, a pimple-faced boy in a sideways black baseball hat leaned out his window, pointed at my friend, a guy, and yelled, "No fat chicks!" Meaning, I can only imagine, that he was only giving his man-to-man recommendation to my friend, walking beside me.

I was shocked and embarrassed. I wanted to turn around, hoping to see someone else the boy might have been suggesting, but preferred not knowing to affirming that he coul